Thoughtful Thursday: Self Acceptance

“In a society that profits from self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.”

This is so true.  How many times a day do you see an ad for something that is suggesting that you need to fix a problem?  We have been trained to be critical of ourselves and of others for our outward appearances.  Wrinkles, fat, saggy skin, gray hair…I could go on and on.  All of these “problems” have a solution if you’re willing to get the “next big product”.  Women hate their bodies.  They feel uncomfortable in their own skin.  They nit pick each others bodies.  They hate and envy each other.

Amy Pence-Brown stood in a busy market, stripped down to a bikini and asked (via a chalkboard message at her feet) people to draw a heart on her to show they supported self acceptance.  In Amy’s words she’s a fat, 40 year old mother of three and that she expected rude comments.  The rudeness didn’t happen, instead she was covered with hearts.

Amy is beautiful.  She is strong.  She is positive.  She is someone that should be admired.

I loved this video!  The message of “all bodies are valuable” is so true.

It is so easy to get caught up focusing on our flaws instead of the amazing things we do and are capable of doing as human beings.

This is an interview that Amy did with a news crew after the video went viral.

This woman is amazing.  Not just for doing the video but for raising her kids to have self acceptance and for liking who she is in the skin that she’s in.  No matter what her body looks like (I personally think she’s beautiful) that body brought forth her three wonderful children and that is more than enough to qualify as beautiful.signature

Thoughtful Thursday: Life Detox

This year I’ve not only been working on my body but I’ve been working on other aspects of my life.  Who you surround yourself with has a lot to do with the stress in your life, your successes and your failures.

detoxyourlifeI think it’s very important to surround yourself with people who are supportive and who truly want the best for you.  Sometimes even when you love people they don’t love themselves enough to love you back.  They can’t help but be toxic because they’re so unhappy.  It’s hard to push away from those people but in the long run you are better off.

You have to draw that line and do what is right for you and yours.

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Thoughtful Thursday: Loving My Body, Flaws and All

I’ve been in a love/hate relationship with my body for years now.

I’m learning to love it though.  One step at a time.

And do you know what I’ve noticed has happened since I’ve started appreciating my body and acknowledging all the amazing things it has done?

I’ve started taking better care of it.

I’ve been working out more, loving the changes, ever how small they may be.

I’ve been looking at the good things I see in the mirror instead of the flaws.

I’ve been watching what I eat and drinking more water to fuel my body properly.

You see, I don’t want to have a love/hate relationship with my body.  No one is perfect and that’s okay.  That doesn’t mean I don’t want to be the best me I can be, though.  I’m going to continue to work hard and quite beating myself up and nitpicking what I see in the mirror.

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Thoughtful Thursday: Letting Go

In my last yoga session we set an intention of letting go.  Letting go of things in our past, or wrongs we’ve felt like were done to us…anything we needed to let go of.

Sometimes in life you have to draw that line in the sand and say:

This will not hurt me anymore.

This will not take any more of my life.

This will not have power over me.

Letting go is really about taking your power back from a situation.  Once you do, you realize just how heavy that burden has been to carry.

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Thoughtful Thursday: Rough Day

Yesterday was hard.

Our shop was so busy I didn’t feel like I got anything accomplished.  (I am so glad we’re busy though, we’re very blessed.)

It was just an off day for me.

My allergies have been bad and I’ve had to deal with daily headaches and yesterday’s headache was especially painful by the afternoon.

I’ve not had Zumba in 3 weeks now so I just don’t feel that good physically.

Sometimes its hard not to get into that mental state of “everything is going wrong, nothing is ever right, life is ridiculous.”

But you know what?

It is just a bad day, it is not a bad life.

Even days that are hard are worth it.

The big picture is where it’s at.  I have so much to be thankful for and so many good things going that to stay in a pity state would cheat me out of this mostly wonderful life I had.

I think people get into a habit of looking at what is going wrong and ignoring what is going right and they have a hard time breaking it.

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Thoughtful Thursday: Being a Mama

There are some things I was never prepared to feel as a Mama.

The almost crazy like love that I feel for my son.  Sometimes I sit and think about how much I love him and it makes me feel like I’m a bit unhinged.  How is it possible to love someone so much?  It is overwhelming, all encompassing, like nothing else.  There is nothing I wouldn’t do for him.

The pride I feel when my child shows his tender heart.  If he thinks I’m mad at him he comes over and gives me a hug.  Our dog had cut her paw a few weeks ago and he noticed her limping.  I told him she was hurt and he went over to her and gave her a hug and said “Awww…”  He loves wholeheartedly and it is such a beautiful thing to see.

The way it changed how I looked at my husband.  I have always loved my husband (of course, duh) but after seeing him with our son my love for him is just so much more.  He’s so good with him.  He’s patient, kind, gentle and fun.  He’s really everything a Dad should be.  Seeing how much he loves Rylan just makes me love him that much more.

The deep compassion I feel for other mamas.  If I see you in public and your child is crying my heart goes out to you.  If they’re having a melt down and you look upset I wish I could comfort you.  (I won’t though because I don’t know you and you would think I’m a weirdo.) I’ve been there.  It is frustrating.  If I see your child tell you “I love you mommy.” I am ecstatic for you and I might even get a little misty eyed.  If your child is sick, I understand how helpless you feel.  I know.  I’ve been there too.

How the death of other children would make me hold my own child tighter, longer.  When Rylan was 7 months old there was a little boy that was 5 months old a couple of towns over that went missing.  I cried thinking about what could be happening or what had happened to that innocent little boy.  I worried.  I prayed.   I held Rylan till he would sleep and I would fitfully watch him until he woke.  It shook me to the core the way things like that never had before.  I had always felt bad of course hearing those things but now the feelings became REAL.  They ended up finding him alongside the highway.  He was dead.  His own father had dumped him there and his mother was also charged in his death.  My heart still aches for this poor little boy.

How it would feel to be the most tired I’ve ever felt in my life and be the happiest I’ve ever been at the same time.  I never knew that could be possible.  I remember the first time Rylan ever smiled at me.  We were in my bedroom and he was laying in his Rock n’ Play.  He had just woken up from a nap and I was so tired from the 6 weeks of sleepless nights.  When he woke up I heard him coo and looked down at him.  I said “There’s my happy boy!” and looked at me with the biggest, gummy grin on his little face!  He was moving his little arms and cooing away!  I remember thinking that nothing was better than this.  And I cried.  Haha!

The side splitting fear that would wash over me when he would do something dangerous.  He fell of the bed when we were at a hotel in South Carolina when he was seven months old.  Jason had left to go grab us some supper and Rylan and I stayed there.  I laid him in the middle of a king sized bed, took three steps to the corner table and plugged my phone up to charge.  I looked around as soon as I plugged the charger in the wall to see him teetering on the edge of the bed.  My heart stopped.  I immediately jumped, covering the distance and catching him mid drop, skinning my knee and elbow in the process.  I cried.  My chest ached and I couldn’t put him down for a while after that.  The fear coupled with the adrenaline rush left me a crumpled, blubbering mess.  He climbs so much now.  He runs fast and jumps off of things he shouldn’t and my heart drops every single time.

Worry.  Yes, worry.  I know my child is just a toddler and that I’m just getting started in this whole worry thing.  I think this started from the moment I read that positive pregnancy test.  Will I be a good mom?  Can I keep him safe?  Will I be able to be strong enough to parent?  I still worry.  Not so much of the crazy things like “will he like me?” or “will I like him?” (haha…all sorts of crazy thing goes through a pregnant lady’s brain, y’all!  Don’t judge!)  Now I worry about him falling or getting away from me in a crowd.  Sometimes I let my mind wander to the future though and I really get scared.  I keep Philippians 4:6-7 in the back of my mind:  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I cry more.  A lot more.  And 99.9% of the time it isn’t because I’m sad.

Speaking of crying…

The way I would look at television, movies…even commercials with new (albeit, emotional) eyes.  Gone are the days that I can sit stone faced through a tear jerker of a movie.  Gone are the days that I can watch anything about a kid being kidnapped, hurt, etc. even if it has a happy ending.  No thank you.

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Being a Mama is such a whirlwind of love and emotions.

It is by far the best job I’ve ever had and it is also the hardest.

Everything I do carries more weight.  Every decision I make, everything I do revolves around what is best for my child.

I feel things so much more deeply.  My love is stronger.

This is my purpose for sure.  I am blessed.

I think it is pretty safe to say that he has turned my world every which way…and I’ve loved every minute of it!

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